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Lesson Learned from Laken’s Leg: Sometimes We Get Benched…

There comes a time in everyone’s life when you get benched. In some form or fashion you’ve been made to sit it out. To become a spectator and rely on others to play the game for you. Your cards have been placed back into the deck. 

It is in these moments that your character is put to the test. The greatest moment for some may be learning the art of humility. What it truly means to support the team. Life is no longer about you. Your perspective is now broadened and you realize now that you are part of much bigger plan. As the benchee will you prove to be a cornerstone, a platform for those of your team to lean on? 

Laken’s accident has helped me to realize all of the above and more. Through my daughter’s time on the bench I’ve seen her face so many physical, mental, and emotional challenges. Her perseverance to press forward go all out striving to give all she can to everyone else even if she is giving it all from the bench has made me look at my own life roles.

As a Mother there are times that I find myself benched. I’ve pulled from the deepest part of my inner being to provide reasonable advice and sometimes sound counsel. In the end I am benched, and it is up to my children on how they receive my advice and counsel to apply it in their own lives. We can guide, sculpt, and supervise all we want but ultimately our children grow and become their own person with their own wants, needs and ideals. 

As an associate I am called upon for my recommendations regarding my experience and expertise. At the end of the day there are decisions that are out of my hands. In these times I am benched. I am learning from watching my daughter to take a step back and support the broader vision of the entire team. Visions adapt, and perspectives change for everyone. 

In the big room I’ve learned to listen, wait, and listen some more. It is not necessary for my opinion to be shared at this time. It is perfectly okay if I am not picked or chosen for a position, or answer. In the end it is gratifying to just be there and watch others evolve, and contribute. 

As a wife, I have learned that it is acceptable to disagree and not make it known. My husbands interests are indeed greater than my own. Mike and I have varied interests, ideas, and thoughts. Throughout our marriage he has always supported every decision, and action I have made and been there for my family in every way. Yes, even I can be a supportive mate and allow someone else to make the final decision in my life. 

After much self reflection and earnest prayer I am content with checking in on family and friends. Loving them from the bench and supporting them in the decisions they make concerning, health, relationships, and other matters. Even though at times my opinions differ a great deal from theirs. My role is to be a supportive friend, aunt, sister, cousin, niece, wife, associate, colleague, and mother. 
I am forever grateful for my daughters ability to be benched and remain a constant foundation for myself and her peers. 

I have many more lessons to learn in this road we travel, all the while I surely hope they do not come in this manner. One thing we have all agreed on is that we are okay on the bench, and we are comfortable in supporting those around us reach their full potential. 

I invite you to stay tuned, as we may have an ace or two up our sleeves.

https://www.gofundme.com/lakens-leg-medical-expenses 

#LakensLeg #PeronealNerveDamage #NerveTransfer #Neuroplasty #PeronealNerve #FootDrop #PeronealNerveInjury

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Update: Laken’s Leg, 3-4 Weeks Post Surgery

During week three we finished preparing for B2S. On Thursday I went to the main campus to discuss Laken starting school in a wheelchair. They were very understanding about the fact that it is impossible to get anything other than sweats or basketball shorts over the leg, and gave her free dress bottoms until further notice. Again our hearts our so thankful that we were met with kindness and acceptance.

Friday brings us to the first day of school. Here, our celebratory photo shows Laken with crutches although she started with “Big Blue”.

After school Laken was in so much pain. Not sure if it was caused by all the walking on the boot that morning or if it was the sitting in one position all day. Finally she was able to get some relief that night.

Saturday, we decided to brave the rain for a quick mall trip. I do not advise anyone to head to the mall in a torrential downpour with a wheelchair! We were soaked, and the glares from all the do-gooders were enough to make me want to crawl under the nearest clothing rack.

On Monday, (second day of school) Laken walked around the house in the boot without crutching before school. I still made her take BB again today just so she wasn’t trampled in the hall. Around 11 she called for pain medicine. That night I had a band meeting and she headed to rehearsal, as a spectator in BB.

7:50 am Tuesday and we are headed to New Orleans to pick up the AFO (ankle foot orthotic). Due to flooding we are prepared to have some delays and have mapped out a course just south of I10 in Crowley and North of I10 in Baton Rouge. I10 closed at exit 64 as I expected, at which we tried three different routes to no avail and finally sought advice from LADOTD. He said LA26 to 190 to LA73 to I10 needless to say the devastation we saw brought tears. Our heartfelt prayers go out to our fellow Louisianans’. #LouisianaStrong                                     Guess what it’s raining cats and dogs in New Orleans. With white knuckles we arrive to CH NOLA at 1:30 the exactly on time.



We get to the small exam room for our appointment and the Dr. washes Laken’s hypersensitive foot and leg causing no pain. (How in the world is this possible?) He starts the fitting and makes some adjustments. We discuss the fact that most of the time AFO’s are used for permanent conditions. We discuss the future surgeries and current condition of leg.

He tells us what can occur and says, “I do not want to give you false hope, you never know what will happen and take it one day at a time. Whatever does happen, it will never be what it was before!”

Tennis shoes do not fit over the AFO, because of the swelling of the entire leg. Dr. says the more the leg is used the less swelling there will be. But for now we head home with her AFO IN THE BOOT. A quick stop at our newly found fav place New Orleans Hamburgers and Seafood Co. and we are back on the road and our detours due to Louisiana Flooding. We arrive home sometime around 9pm, what a day. Now we prepare for tomorrow. No uniform bottoms will work, sweats it is.

My baby WALKED into school Wednesday! With adidas slides (shower shoes, HAHA) and her AFO, wearing sweats she walked into school this morning at 5:40 (to support the team at morning practice) such a thrilling site to see!

She was in so much pain when I picked her up. She’s complaining of burning off and on, I’m going to take this as a good sign!! 🙏🏼

Thursday is here and because of severe pain she is unable to attend practice or make tonights performance for McNeese Cowboy Kickoff Dinner. She agonizingly wore uniform pants today because kids were giving her flack about her sweats. 😬Thursday night brings even more pain and MORE SWELLING! She really wanted to go to the performance, and we were both sad that we missed it.

Today is Friday and she is feeling it, truth be told so am I. We have a call into the Doctor regarding the severe pain and swelling. Hopefully meds can be upped or changed.

Tonight we are going to MeMaw’s for Kenzie’s gender reveal and are hoping that Laken is able to enjoy herself with little pain.

I cannot explain to you how thrilling and exciting it is to see her walk! One day at a time and one step at a time she will heal and we will handle what comes. We are hopeful that with each surgery mobility will improve, and she will once again feel the sand between her wiggling toes, and feel the wet blades of grass under her feet.

Again, we Thank you all for your kindness and genuine love!

Stay tuned, this story is far from over.

#LakensLeg #PeronealNerveDamage #NerveTransfer #Neuroplasty #PeronealNerve #FootDrop #PeronealNerveInjury

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Update: Laken’s leg 2nd week post surgery. 

This week we started getting ready for Back to School. Laken is adamant that she will start school with her class, wheelchair, crutches, brace and all. Strong willed this girl is! 

Saturday-Monday were filled with the same; bed rest and more bed rest. 

Tuesday our big brown eyed little girl turned 15 years! Where has the time gone? You are very strong and never cease to amaze me. Know that you make me happy! I am proud of your achievements and even though disappointments may arise I am never ashamed of you little one. Believe that you will do great things and you will. Have faith in our GOD’s promises for the future and know that he will cause it to be. Most of all be you and be the best you that you can be, always while being kind to others. If someone is unkind to you or hurts you, pray for them as Jesus did for his wrongdoers. I love it when you call me your best friend, it warms my heart so. Even though you are my daughter and not my friend I know the day will come when you will be my best friend but for now my beautiful daughter you are and will always be. Laken Rayne I love you to MawMaw and back! Here’s to the next 15 years and to all the accomplishments ahead!  We ate at Casa Ole’ tonight  and then Laken decided to get out for the evening activity at Band Camp. So we loaded up “Big Blue” again and headed to the 9th grade campus to drop her off for the next 1.5 hours of fun. Upon pick up we find out it was trivia night and she’s still in one piece (phew). Trivia is good!! 


Mike surprised Laken with a cookie cake that had a fence. This made for a good laugh. 


Wednesday we dropped Laken off for another 1.5 hours of evening activity. Tonight she was a spectator as they played ships and sailors. Getting out of the house and seeing everyone is helping her spirits so much!  
Thursday comes and Laken wears her Purple Guard Wars Tank (Thank You Jennifer) 💙💛💙to late school registration. My baby is a Sophomore, and in just three short years she will be graduating and then turning eighteen. 😩 After registration and a tour of the big campus the whole guard headed to Antalya’s to practice for Untalent night. If you have never had a loved one in SHS Band of Pride and have somehow missed this event I am so sorry for your loss! Antalya’s family had prepared chicken alfredo for the guard, we are all so appreciative of their kindness and hospitality. At 6:15 the caravan of guard headed to Lewis for the show. There we met up with the rest of the band, there were aliens, Pokemon, B•A•N•A•N•A•S, a tribute to Hirambe, Star Wars (Guard), and more. Laken was a “bad plane” and was able to get on the stage thanks to a “fat kid tested and approved (according to Mike)” lift to fly across the stage. This smile right here makes it all worth it!  


Guard took fourth place, and the flutes took it all home! Great idea of them to use Mr. Mac’s remind. We enjoyed tonight laughing and visiting with our friends. The night ended with leftover gumbo at home. 

Friday morning we are up at 6:30am to dress and get on the road to New Orleans for our follow up with Dr. Gonzales. 

We arrive early for our 1:45 appointment. Dr. Gonzales comes into the room and says, I’ve got some good news. He talked to the plastic surgeons about a graft. If the EMG shows no nerve conduction then the plastic surgeons will go in to harvest and graft the nerve. We will not know anything until after the EMG if the nerve has any function so far there are no signs. Dr. Gonzales took the splint off and the staples out of the back of the leg and removed the stitch she had on the outside of her leg. She is cleared to shower and swim!! Laken’s smile shows her excitement. Laken is to spend a good amount of time on her stomach now trying to straighten the leg. Once she has her brace she is to begin trying to walk. If there are no signs of improvement with straightening the leg and walking after 3 weeks then physical therapy will begin. So the EMG is next then follow up with Gonzales and he will let us know if we are going forward with the plastic surgeons or if the nerve is healing and the next surgery will be the tendon transfer to correct the foot drop. She has not been cleared for PE or physical activity yet. She is however capable of spinning and tossing flags, rifles, and Sabres while sitting in her chair. Not sure how volleyball will fit in this year. Dr. Gonzales told Laken she couldn’t have hurt the nerve any worse than she did, he said a clean cut in half would have even been better. He also made the point of telling her again how fortunate she was to be here with us as she was very close to the artery. 🙏🏼 


Guess who will be shaving that left leg tonight?                                                    

We leave the hospital waiting for a call for the EMG and follow up with Gonzales. 

Now in search of food, we head to Willie Mae’s Scotchhouse (Guy Fieri dined here) only to find it is not ADA friendly. Okay, so we head to R&O’s Restaurant in Metairie oh no they are closed from 3-5. Alrighty then we get in I10 and get off at Veteran’s Blvd. We find a honey hole New Orleans Hamburger & Seafood Co, they have an ADA Ramp, it’s clean, has great food!!!! Mike had the eggplant, crabcake stack and it was delicious the girls and I had chicken tenders and a burger. Time to hit the restroom before we get back in the road; eeek the restroom is in no way ADA so we get the crutches out of the car. She is barely able to get in this tiny space with the crutches. Overall I rate them a 9. We will be back. 

We are now back in I10 heading West. 
Still in a wait and see mode and keeping the faith. I was pleased to get the encouraging news from the Dr. regarding the plastic surgeons, even though I am going to move forward with the hope that they will not be needed and the next surgery will be on the foot. 

Dr. Gonzales says we have at least another 6 months of recovery ahead. Until then, we are continually grateful to all of you for your love, help, and encouragement. 💙💛💙 

#LakensLeg #PeronealNerveDamage #NerveTransfer #Neuroplasty #PeronealNerve #FootDrop #PeronealNerveInjury

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Update: Laken’s Leg, Days 3-7 Post Surgery

One day at a time, we’ve gotten to day 7 post surgery. 

Early on I discovered this great little app called Medisafe. Medisafe allowed me to load all the prescriptions, doses, and times, make sure you okay notifications and you’ll get a nice little pill bottle shaking noise when it’s medication time. At day 7 we are at 87% adherence to our original medication plan with a pain level of 3-5 when we get a notification. Three to Five is so much better than crying and 7-worst ever pain. Not sure if it’s the gabapentin working, the surgery helped the nerve, or the splint has relieved the pain to the ankle and leg. Whatever the reason we are thankful that there is less pain. 


There’s also a serious loss of appetite going on, at first we had some reservations about all the Sprite, milkshakes, and snacks. However, she probably needs this little bit of indulgence each day just to get the calories, and fats her body requires daily. Thanks to KayKay, Zack, Nick, Jimmy, Kennedy, and Ms. Stacy she’s had plenty of snacks to last! She even recieved some bubble wrap. 

Monday we ordered a wheelchair. After talking with Carmichaels on what our copay would be, vs. the cost of renting without insurance, Mike said just buy one. So that’s what we did, with some shopping help from CoCo.

Tuesday night we were able to see the surgery incision for the first time. We were told to undress, redress and rewrap. I was pleasantly surprised, it wasn’t as bad as expected. The scar does go from under knee to lower thigh, and I can see why her knee has to stay bent. Not to mention there is a piece of clear thread on top of the scar that I’m pretty sure will break through the skin (you can see the red aggravated skin) before the Doctor can remove the stitch. Please don’t mind the hair, we are unable to shave the leg as the hairs may get into the incision and cause infection. Soon enough she will be shaving this leg! 


“Big Blue” arrived Wednesday evening and we were able to put it together and make it to Raising Cane’s in time for the Colorguard fundraiser! Laken didn’t eat too much and didn’t seem in the best of moods while there. (Stage fright?)She was excited to see the ones that were there but the excitement didn’t seem to last!

 

Thursday, we were able to meet baby Zaedyn (Laken’s nephew Megan’s baby that was born on the same day as her surgery) Laken’s Dad won his tournament in Vegas, she hasn’t talked to him since before her surgery as he had to leave once she was in recovery to check in on her sister Megan before heading out to Las Vegas. This was a good day!

Laken has enjoyed the visitors she’s had, and keeps saying how she wants to be at camp. She’s all but begging to go to camp next week, even if it’s just for an hour or so. Sadly I’ve had to say no, the Dr. was very adamant that she stay resting with her knee bent, and in the AC until our follow up (Aug 5th). We are planning to attend untalent night, we are looking forward to the comradery and antics.

Tonight we are opting for a shampoo in bed. We’ve tried rinseless shampoo, and rinseless shampoo caps but both of these leave Laken’s hair tacky feeling. Pray we don’t flood the futon with this newest adventure! At the very least we will get an A for effort. 


Laken is now able to take about 10 steps with the crutches before she tires out and the leg gets too heavy. She’s awake about 8 hours of the day and has some serious cabin fever. We are working hard to keep faith, remain positive and continue to take this one day at a time! 

Thank you all again for your love 💙💛💙 and prayers! 

Sincerely, this working from home, couch sleeping, praying mama. 

#LakensLeg #PeronealNerveDamage #NerveTransfer #Neuroplasty #PeronealNerve #FootDrop #PeronealNerveInjury

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Update: Laken’s Leg, Days 1-2 post surgery

We rested between the pain, and messages from Megan (Laken’s older sister) she had a baby just about the same time Laken was waking up from surgery last night. This morning when the ortho resident came into check her out and do his simple neuro exam I started in on why there was no AFO, brace or splint. The longer the drop foot goes untouched the more permanent it becomes not to mention the pain! Ah the pain, Laken is never without pain. The Dr. lets me know how sorry he is and that before we leave today a solution will be in place. A nurse tech comes in and measures Laken’s foot for a cam boot. Hours later the cam boot is brought in and it is too high, hitting at the initial wound and then the surgery site as well. I ask for the next size down. The Doctor agrees. Over an hour later another cam boot is brought in, it is too high as well. Then we are told they are going to splint her leg until the AFO is ready (we were initially told we could pick it up on the 2nd).  The leg is now in a splint, and the knee has to stay bent for the next 2 weeks. Under no circumstances is the leg to go out straight as this will hurt any chance she has of the nerve repairing itself. They’ve started her on Neurontin/Gabapentin to help with the pain and she has norco and ibuprofen 600. We are cleared to leave the hospital and at 5:28 we are loaded and on our way home.  She’s moans and cries some on the way home, I ask if she’s hurting and the pain level is at an 8. There’s nothing I can do till 7:00. Come Iowa she needs to use the restroom, there is nothing we can do she has to hold her bladder till we get home  we get into town I drop off scripts and call CoCo to come help get her in the house as Mr. Mike is at work. We try the crutches to no avail. Echo then comes up with the brilliant idea of a rolling chair. Needless to say the rolling office chair got us to the front door and then a dining chair once we were in the house was our salvation. Echo is going to bring a wheelchair today after work. Laken is bed ridden for the next two weeks she will be in bed with her leg bent until we return to New Orleans to see the surgeons. If you would like to visit you are welcome to do so. If you would like to bring something for Laken, keep in mind she is stuck in bed. Laken’s favorite foods are Boudin, Boudin Kolaches, Rice n’ Gravy, Rice Krispie Treats, Oreos, Vanilla Milk Shakes, and SPRITE! (The girl loves Sprite)

Leaving New Orleans I was so much more relieved than I was going, completely heartbroken but relieved, and I have such a feeling of a thankfulness. Thankful to the surgeons, and to Jehovah GOD, thankful that the children sought medical attention (such as it was) for my daughter and didn’t leave her on that fence, thankful to all of our friends, family, and bandamily for all of the support and love!

Day 2 Post Surgery- Yay!! Sam brought donuts, and a Kolache for Laken!

I will update the blog less and less from here on out. Thanks again to you all for your continued prayers, and love!

#LakensLeg #PeronealNerveDamage #NerveTransfer #Neuroplasty #PeronealNerve #FootDrop #PeronealNerveInjury

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Update: Laken’s Leg Post-Op

The Dr. walked into the waiting room just over an hour after we were separated from Laken. The Doctor sits down and begins to explain that the peroneal nerve had a small nick and was stretched out about 5cm. They had to go digging to find it. They found good nerve at both the top and bottom and sewed in collagen graftjacket around both good ends in the hopes that the nerve endings will travel up the collagen to meet each other again and repair themselves. The Doctor says there is a good chance of this happening and we will not know if the surgery was a success for 3 months. After one month they will have a good idea of whether or not there is a need for a second surgery to correct the foot drop; this surgery is called a tibial tendon transfer (Doc says they just did one last week on a football player). Laken will be in an ankle foot brace for a long while and may have some set backs due to this but she is strong and resilient, until this week I did not know just how strong. Laken was in recovery for an extended amount of time and had a rough go with the anesthesia, she is in severe pain. All together she’s only been awake for about 30 minutes since returning to her room. Laken’s Dad, Bonus Mom, and Mr. Mike have all gone now and it is just Laken, Richy, and me. If it takes me a while to respond to anyone it is more than likely because we are a little preoccupied at the moment. When Laken does see all of your messages, I know she will be very happy and feel so loved. Our SHS Band of Pride has been amazing! A fellow band member that is super busy with his own life has volunteered to drop his free Saturday to work a car wash for my child so she doesn’t lose merits. A goodie treat bag and stuffed animal received from a team member and Guard Mom. This is called a #Bandamily and we are proud to be a part of this one! Now we wait and see and take this day by day, while having a realistic view we are still going to keep faith on our side as we all know miracles happen daily!

#LakensLeg #PeronealNerveDamage #NerveTransfer #Neuroplasty #PeronealNerve #FootDrop #PeronealNerveInjury

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Update: Laken’s Leg Pre-op

image image imageExploration of the lower left extremity with repair vs graft.                                                    This is what the surgeon came to discuss Thursday afternoon. One of three things will happen.

  1. The peroneal nerve is in tact.                     -If this is the case then they will repair other damages and close. Diagnosis, Palsy due to nerve trauma. Prognosis, hoping as the nerve restores itself and the Palsy reverses.
  2. The peroneal nerve is knicked or stretched. -The surgeons will suture the fibers of the nerve to repair it along with other damage and put a sheathe around it.
  3. The peroneal nerve is cut in two.                -If this is the case, they will close her up and plastic surgeons will have to go in and harvest to make repairs.

Surgery will last approximately 1 hour depending on what they find. She will have rehabilitation and therapy for 3-6 months. The Brace shop came and fit her for the AFO, Laken did not fully understand what this was at the time, however colors and design are involved.  Later in the night I showed her a sample of the AFO, this was extremely upsetting to Laken.

To lighten the mood, laughter through tears; we decided to play on snapchat a bit.

There will be three surgeons in the OR with Laken. The current wounds will be opened up and incorporated where they will gain entry and perform the surgery. There is an 80% success rate.

The Doctor says this is a day by day thing and that we will know more once they open her up.

Our prayers are for comfort and healing for Laken, with gentle, cautious, and steady hands of the surgeons.

Surgery is scheduled for noon.

#LakensLeg #PeronealNerveDamage #NerveTransfer #Neuroplasty #PeronealNerve #FootDrop #PeronealNerveInjury

 

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Update: Laken’s Leg

 

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Sleeping in her room.
X-rays all came back normal (this Mother’s hunch knew they would) we sit for hours with no information. Sheer desperation kept me awake, around 4 am the ER Dr. “Meadows” peeps in and says that she is waiting for 4:30 to page the ortho. I said why ortho? She says “here our ortho teams are ortho-neuro surgeons.” My eyes show my excitement and astonishment. I’m relieved, something will be done. 6:55 Dr comes in says “I’m with the ortho team.” He gets the story and proceeds with exam. He then tells me what nerve is damaged and is very thorough in his explanation. ( I let him know that I had already done my research and knew which nerve was damaged and what all it was affecting) he seemed surprised. He said it seems that the nerve is either cut or stretched. He suggests an AFO (hard plastic sheath to keep foot from dropping) and 3-6 months of healing time then reevaluation but to be sure he is going to head upstairs and consult the team. I am crushed, another Doctor is refusing to fix my child, our beautiful Laken is going to paralyzed forever! Horrible thoughts are racing through my mind. I call “Shane” (Laken’s Dad, Mike) he is coming in from trying to locate Richy’s neurologist in his office for a consult (to no avail). Shortly after Shane is in the ER. The Dr. returns Shane immediately starts questioning the sending home like this with 3-6 months of uncertainty and then returning only at the possibility of starting back at ground zero. That’s when the Doctor cuts him off and says, “hold on let me back up, the team has met and we are all in agreement that we will admit and do exploratory surgery in the morning.” I cry tears of relief, I’m elated that someone is going to finally attempt to fix our baby girl!! She seems relieved as well. We thank the Doctor, and have some discussion, he lets us know that he will be in our room tonight for further details and talk on the matter. We are waiting for the brace shop to come fit the AFO now. She is on some stronger pain meds and has her IV, she is NPO after midnight tonight and we are resting comfortably finally! Please pray for a steady hand for the surgeons tomorrow and guidance to correct all issues. Thank you all!

#LakensLeg #PeronealNerveDamage #NerveTransfer #Neuroplasty #PeronealNerve #FootDrop #PeronealNerveInjury